Saturday, July 19, 2008
The Vulnerable Luke Ravenstahl, Mayor of Pittsburgh
I want to dedicate this one to you, your Vulnerableness.
From this day forward, I so move to no longer refer to you as "The Honorable", the title traditionally reserved for elected officials. I propose that the fine citizens of this city refer to you as "The Vulnerable", a much more appropriate title for the current mayor of this great city. Even though you are sitting on more cash than a Halliburton executive, you are vulnerable, sir.
Over the last two years you have exhibited a uncanny ability to be equal parts imbecilic, arrogant and myopic. Sir, your leadership only serves the monied and powerful interests of this city, while masquerading as something fresh, new and innovative. There is nothing new about what is happening on Grant Street, 19th Century politically thuggery with a 21st century marketing machine. From the Regan Nomination, to the McNeilly Case, to the Snow Removal Crisis, to Lamar-Gate, to SUV-Gate, you have continued to raise the bar when comes to utter disregard for not only the public, but also for the office you hold.
There have been too many stories of unreturned phone calls, drunken episodes at nightclubs and other indiscretions that have cheapened the position you were elected to. I only hope that someone can save this city before you send it to the same early grave your career is headed to.
Mr. Mayor, from this day forward all Pittsburghers shall refer to you as "The Vulnerable Luke Ravenstahl", a tribute to your morally bankrupt, spiritually empty and acutely unethical style of leadership, here's to you your Vulnerableness!